Persistent Endurance (Part 4)

[MrBrside]

I don’t see how it could backfire, I’ve already lost her and she’s cheating, I feel I’m already living the worst ending. How much worse can it get?

I'll be honest with you - this is from my perspective only... SELF RESPECT... My sitch started a little before yours, and i found this forum way way to late. Looking back, i feel i did a lot of stuff wrong - the chasing, the love messages, the pursuit, accepting the cake eating.. All this eats away at self respect. I didnt discuss my sitch with friends or family - i cut off from my friends - because i knew they would lose respect for me if i told them the truth.. i knew i had lost my own self respect... Once i found this forum i changed everything i did and the way i acted within weeks, with the exception of checking messages ( this was for proof if i ever needed it in the future )

You cannot demand respect from others, you earn it... But you also need to earn self respect from within yourself..

i googled self respect: "pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honour and dignity"

So i will ask you a couple of straight up questions...

1) Do you honestly believe that anything you say will change her tune ? really ? - based on everything you have read and the hundreds of contributions on this forum - do you believe your WW is any different, or you can offer something that all the other LBS didnt try ?

2) You may have "already lost her" , but you are not letting go...- So stop looking at what you have lost - look at what you can gain.... Self respect - by moving forward without her.... The pursuit, the chasing, the pleeding - all chips away at your self respect. Do you believe giving her a big speech about losing you / what you will do / divorce etc is behaving with honour and dignity ? - it reeks of desperation..

That does nothing for your self respect IMO, and i cant see how it will do anything for her respect towards you ... So what do you achieve by giving this speech?

Once you give your speech, and she cake eats even more / your realise it was a bad idea etc , you have chipped away another small piece of self respect..

This is my take on it.. You need to do as you see fit, but you cant begin to heel if you still keep thinking you can reason with this person... Rational vs Emotion .....nothing constructive will come out of it, as its 2 different languages..

GAL, KIDS, SELF RESPECT....