Hey Alison - sorry to hear that you are struggling. This cannot have been easy for you, and I think you are more than allowed to have your fair share of emotions and feelings about what you are going through.
You are also allowed to take as much time as you need, I agree with U. This is a period of turmoil and upheaval and great change. If your H shows that he is committed to changing and stays in IC, that's great for him. But you are in charge here of if, how, or when you proceed.
Forgive yourself - that's one of the things I am also learning how to do. It's ok to feel these things. If he is truly serious about what he is doing, then he will give you the time and space to figure it out, and it will be his turn to wait.
