Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 4

[SteveLW]

IHC, I think what I hear you saying is that you acknowledge what you need to change, but you just don't want to change it. With that mindset I think the most insightful thing you wrote was "I think I need to be alone for once in my life to figure that part of me out." Please seize on that. Make this your mantra moving forward. Why? Because you also wrote: "The truthful matter is I'm not seeking attention from anyone. I do enjoy it. Especially from female companions and loved ones I can relate to."

My fear for you is that you will close the door on this chapter of you life, make no changes, crave that female attention and affection, fall too quickly into another relationship, and end up back to this some point in short order. Many LBSs have thrown in the towel in order to seek out someone new. We have a saying around here about making a WAS that wants to reconcile do their hard work to come back. But the same goes for the LBS. If you do not make changes in yourself, and EARN your way into a new MR (either with your WAS or someone new), you are setting yourself up for another, future BD.

Peace brother. Focus on you. Get back to your spiritual side (you seemed to have a strong one before this latest "I am all in on the D" phase. Reconnect with God and get your life right! Onward and upward!