Sorry to hear all this. Whatever means you're using to discover the EA, please stop. It will only hurt you. The less you know the better. Cycling is "normal" for whatever normalcy this process has. The only advice here is to expect the unexpected. People will do things Hollywood writers could never imagine.
As far as chores go, read sandi's threads. There is excellent advice there. Personally, I became a servant to my wife, working 100 hours a week and doing everything possible around the house. She did not work outside the home and used the spare time to fire up the EA that eventually turned PA. Your W is out for herself only, so the acts of kindness you're doing will serve in her interests only. If it were me, I would do things for you and the kids and as little as possible for her. Make her work for the things she desires. She will likely try and make you feel guilty about it but you're hopefully tone deaf to the insults by now.
Please take care of yourself while working so much. There is adrenaline pumping now, but after a time it will run out and you will end up exhausted.
