It was one of the most horrifying and horrible things I have ever experienced today. I would rather get another mastectomy than go through what I just went through.
And in my city, you have to sit on a bench and watch two lawyers argue about you -- and one doesn't know all the details and the other one is spewing endless lies and screaming. In my city, no one values anything but money, they do not care what is happening at home, they just want you to settle and get out.
H was sitting there with dyed-blond hair, dyed beard, full tan, thrilled to show what an evil money-hiding witch I am. He proudly tried to refuse to pay child support. He wouldn't even agree to pay child support from the date he moved out but was ready to go to a motion to avoid it. I didn't know if I should hold tight but my L told me it would cost me another 2K to file a motion and the judge might not even give me more than the pathetic $500/mo they finally agreed to (they offered only $375 though I have full physical custody and he hasn't seen D for two weeks or S since he moved out June 1).
We can't prove anything until trial so it's just a lot of slogging through lies and screaming. His L is so deeply evil that it is almost impossible to navigate around him. My L does, but where we end up is always so far from what is fair and right.
I sat there reading my bible. Sometimes I had to plug my ears and pray by whispering so I couldn't hear the lies. Once I tried to say something and the court attorney told me to shut up.
All the lies, the adultery, the abuse, the neglect, the monitoring,the drinking, even the stealing -- all of that did not kill my desire to stand.
This D situation is killing my desire to stand. H is so evil now, is destroying me, it is beyond anything I ever imagined.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
