The only thing that concerns me is "I am this way and that's the way it is" attitude. I think that might be where your marriage and DBing went off the rails. I'd have to go back and look, but I remember right you are not in IC. I think you said something (again sorry if I am not remembering correctly) about not believing IC.

IHC, you can't change what you don't acknowledge. The real question that I have after these last few posts is "why does IHC run in the face of hard work?" That is not a question I want you to answer. It is a question I want you to ponder. None of our sitches were easy. All of them were hard. Some ended in D, some ended in R. But to me the real difference between those that are successful in DBing (D or R) and those that are not is that those that are successful can objectively look at themselves and say "These are the things I need to change!" Those that can't do that, or won't do that, well those are the ones that are doomed to drag around the emotional baggage of their failed marriages for the rest of their life.

You can't change the past. The future isn't written yet. You do get to make choices in the present though. And the choices you make today will mold the future you have to live. I am not going to tell you your decision is wrong because I don't know if it is or not. What I will tell you is that D or R, you have the opportunity to be a better version of IHC today and tomorrow than you were yesterday. Seize the moment. Get into IC and work through your issues, your shortcomings, and most importantly, your fears!

Now go do the right thing.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018