Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 4

[SteveLW]

IHC, one of the things we always say is that it is always your choice to go ahead and get a D. Sometimes I will caution people that come to this point to make sure that it is REALLY what they want. The reason I do that is because sometimes the WAS makes things miserable for the LBS so that the LBS will do the dirty work of the D. So, do you want to divorce? If the answer to that question is yes, and you feel that you've done all you can do, that you can look back and without any regrets, and that when the time comes you can look your kids in the eyes and honestly tell them that you did everything in your power to avoid D, then I say go for it. If you have a problem with any one of those things then I would seriously consider giving it some more time. Only you can decide, but will another hour, day, or week, or even month really make that big of a difference at this point?

I do want to challenge you on one thing. You said: "The only way I am ever going to change is by letting this all go, and I can't do that anymore in IHS. "

And then you said:

"All of you here encouraged dropping the rope, so I did."

If the only way you can let all this go is to move for D, then how exactly have you "dropped the rope" up until now? Dropping the rope is sometimes not really understood, and I think you may have misunderstood it. Dropping the rope is not something you do, then stop and look back to see how she will react. That is not dropping the rope, that is letting it go ready to grab it again as soon as you feel you need to. Dropping the rope is dropping it and walking away (figuratively, not literally). It is really letting her go figure her stuff out and merely going on about your business of GAL, etc.

So did you really drop the rope? I would say with your mindset of the first quote above that you probably did not.