I had a last minute meet up with a friend. Did let W know I'm going out but not with whom. I get panic afternoon email that son got mad and hit her (he's six). I ignore. I get SMS about when I'm coming home. I already said, but reply two hours later restating time. I get another SMS about something boring happened to her. I ignore. She asks if I read her email. I ignore and then come home at the time I said.
I get rage about my Son but definately validate her feelings. Sounded traumatic. Then I get the corresponding relationship rage. "Do I know its over?" (I say I know), do you know Ive been waiting 10 years for this (married for 9, go figure, I say nothing), "I must sell the house now!" (she doesn't want to but given i said im not suppoting her she probably realises now it's the only way. I say nothing), "I'm trapped and need to move out!" (she hasn't made the effort. Complains, but no action, I say I understand), "You must feel miserable too!" (i say no, im fine).
I go back to my room and 10 minutes later she calls me to watch tv. I declined yesterday, but today i accept. She's just been browsing apartment listings on her phone, obviously making a statement. Tv show is fine, we have good time.
Night ends with W showing some nice pics of kids taken today. I leave for bed and she asks where I've been. I say out and then good night.
Yeah this is getting real tough. She's starts her period any day and that usually means rage. Indeed she initiated BD in thst frame of mind. Is this form of GAL effective? It's clear she's rattled, I'm not normally out, and certainly not vague. I can't see how totally ghosting her and being holed up in my room is effective. I mean wouldn't completely ignoring her just reinforce her feeling to separate? I don't like the idea of ignoring her birthday. But do I ever do that for friends? No way. I'm torn.
In all honesty I am feeling more detached than ever. I just realised how awesome separation will be. No pessimistic, emotionally abusive wife, a couple nights to myself, and no kids 24/7. I thought I wanted to save the marriage. Now I don't care. Because she won't change and I doubt she'd accept the strings (boundaries) that would be attached to piecing.
I'm not saying I'm defeated. I'd take her back if the topic came up and we agreed to work on it. But I'm not sure how much of her anger I can take. I feel she's upset that I'm stealing her cake. And I do feel a bit dodgy for being evasive. I can only wait and see I guess.
