I have noticed a slight change in her behavior over the past month. This started a few days before I left with the kids on our vacation to California. W has been much more apt to start up conversation about inconsequential topics such as home improvement projects at her affair house, changes she noticed around my house on things I’ve bought or rearranged, the plight of divorced BFF, and other general chit chat.
That's consistent with the "I just want us to be good friends and coparents" philosophy a lot of WAS's take up.
Quote
The place is a real DIY nightmare, but it’s hers and she gets a sense of accomplishment in that she hasn’t had to rely on anyone else. I do believe the feeling of independence is important for her self-esteem.
Yeah I think a lot of WAS's feel like they've been chained down or held back or whatever by marriage and just want to prove to themselves that they can make it on their own. My XW said that was a big motivating factor of hers.
Quote
I’ve been busy coaching S8’s baseball team. S8 is somewhat of a phenom, has been athletically gifted since 2 years old. He led his team to two tournament championships in the past couple weeks. In the first weekend tournament he hit 7 homers in 5 games. Afterwards, he called my dad and told him this was the best day of his life. Made me smile, but sad that his mother wasn’t there to see it. Then, this past weekend’s tournament he hit 4 homers and 4 triples in 4 games. Again, mom was a no show.
Fantastic! Regarding your W not being there, unfortunately you can't make her be a good mom. If she chooses to be a crap mother then you've just got to double down on being a great dad.
Quote
Time to work on the final confrontation speech and get D paperwork prepared. Moving forward...
Confrontation speech? I'm curious what your intent with that is, are you hoping it will snap her out of it? If you're done then file, no need for speeches. The speech will not accomplish anything. Listen to your own advice! This:
Quote
How should you act? Calm, cool, and collected, because remember, you are NOT losing anything IF the midlife spouse decides to go ahead, and go on with the affair partner. That would be the worst mistake the midlife spouse could make, but hey, it’s their mistake, not yours. You’re letting them have what they say they want, because you know you can’t make them break up with the affair partner, and return to you–you can’t control them, their wants, their needs, nor their desires. You can only decide to remove yourself from an equation they tried to create for the purpose of keeping themselves entertained, and happy.
There you go, simply remove yourself from the equation, what do you think that would look like?
