We had our best friends over that night and we had lots of wine and argued the point. It was nice to not be such a shrinking violet--I tried to steer teh conversation to a different topic, but this one was just more fertile. H asked my opinion and instead of being wishy-washy I gave it.
We did go to the party. And as much as H and I weren't really looking forward to it, we seemed to bond over the way the decision was made. We both took turns at being annoyed at BIL, he had called me to express his displeasure with H and brought up a bunch of things from last year. I listened and told him there wasn't much I could do, it was H's decision, but now that H knows how BIL felt, it might influence his decision. They both said similar things--it was like two alpha males defending their actions. We were polite and smiled at the party and H didn't say any of the nasty things that crossed his mind!
Crisis averted. But if feels much better to state my mind than not. I know that the T had said for me to stay out of family issues with H's side of the family, but if left to his own devices, H would never speak to his BIL and SIL again. I'm sure there is more family stuff to come up, but I think we will survive it. In a bizarre way, H was sticking up for me, why should we go to their party when they treat you so badly? Of course BIL and SIL are in their own little "me" world that they don't see any of that, but H does and that is all that really matters.
