Thank you, J. Standing up for myself is one of the hardest things for me to do. Being beaten down so many times when I have before, I just don’t do it anymore. Even though in the end, I found myself apologizing all over the place, I’m glad I spoke my mind. More to work on.
As my best friend pointed out last night, it was a huge deal for him to include me in his family part of life. I do believe he loves me and loves me as much as he says.
It does come down to love languages. He is only comfortable expressing love in HIS LL. I bet if I told him I needed something done around the house , he would have made time.
He hasn’t done the work we have . I think he believes he is giving me the world .
He is completely comfortable and feels he doesn’t need to do the stuff he once did.
How do I feel around him?? That is a good question. Sometimes, like I am the only woman in the room. When we were at the once concert, he was all about holding my hand, rubbing my leg, and all that stuff and was focused on me. The next day, not as much. Some days he is seems like he is bursting with love for me and I can feel it, other days I am barely visible when we are together. We were watching our kids play together and he put his arm around me and I just looked at him and said “I am so happy”
We need a date. We need a romantic dinner, just the two of us and we need a sleep over. I need to lay in his arms again. It’s been a while. The most we got was when he fell asleep on my chest when we were away laying on the daybed/sofa. And it lasted 15 min because it was really uncomfortable, lol.
I haven’t heard from his since 11 which isn’t unusual. He has a lot to do tonight. I would reach out and say goodnight, but I’m not going to.
I want him to want me, not just be another chore on his list.
