It’s a fair point you make. My question is practicalities. She knew straight away I was being short with her. How do I explain a sudden change from cordial to aloof? I can’t say “because you’re messaging other guys”- I have no proof, just a gut feeling and she will say I’m being paranoid.
Why are you being "short" with her? Is that what you think detachment is? That's not it. Are you familiar with Sandi's rules?
Yes- rule 15. Don’t start conversations. Don’t be overly talkative.
OK well there is a difference between giving her time and space, which you SHOULD be doing, and being cold/ indifferent/ short which you should NOT be doing. The key is you shouldn't be initiating convos, but if she starts one it's OK to reply. And when you do reply, you should be warm and friendly. A lot of people here call it being like a "friendly neighbor". IE, you wouldn't have a serious conversation talk with a neighbor, you would just talk about the weather and such.
