Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 3

[LB55]

My W says she is working to fix our relationship, but I don't trust that she actually is.

You say you don't trust that she is actually trying which is completely understandable. What would you need to see in order to change your mindset? Just remember that you can't control her actions...you either trust her or you don't...she can earn your trust, and the question I am asking you is just that. What do you need to see to be able to trust her again? Just a question you need to answer for yourself, nobody can tell you the right answer.

I can't trust my wife as far as I can throw her right now. I'm not sure I will ever be able to. However I know that I must trust myself, my instincts, and not let my emotions dictate whether I trust her or not. She hasn't tested me yet, but I am sure it will happen eventually when some fantasy bubble bursts for her. She will say all the right things, do some right things, and will try to lure me back with some smiles and flirty behavior that eventually leads to sex...however I cannot let myself go there because when she pulls back again I will be emotionally destroyed again. Some folks can go there and not attach any emotion to the act; I am not one of them. I know this and knowledge is power. I don't even know the answer to my question I posed above...someday I will and perhaps that will be when I am ready to trust her again. Whatever happens, actions will show me which path to take, there isn't a word she can say to make me trust her going forward without the accompanying actions.

I hope that she knows that she can find herself and happiness with me.

Hope is not a plan brother. Show her that you can be happy with yourself...she won't be able to even have a chance to see happiness with you as a possibility until that happens.