I was right where you are regarding the birthday and the "one year ago" thing.
My 40th was last July 24 and my H's b-day is 8 days later. Last year he moved out between the two, after telling me at the end of June that he was moving out.
So this year, I was out of town on mine for most of the day and came home to find that he and D9 bought all the fixings for dinner, flowers and a certificate for a half-day spa. PRetty nice. Then last week his aunt had a stroke right before his b-day so we crossed our fingers that she wouldn't die on his b-day. She made it to the next day. The kids and I made him dinner, a cake and wrapped up fishing stuff. He enjoyed it - even with his aunt's inevitable death hanging over us. Now we have made it through her funeral and will get back on track. The stress caused a few moments of uncertainty, but I think we will be okay.
I like the idea of you folks celebrating early prior to going out of town. Is there a restaurant that you can go to that will bring a cake to the table - and have the wait staff sing HB? We have several chains around that do that?
Do you have a few friends that can join in or do you wish to keep it just family?
Also, on his b-day, can you arrange to have a cookie bouquet or balloons delivered to his workplace? Or ask a neighbor to tie them to his car (if you buy them prior to leaving)?
Have the kids record singing HB and leave it out for him to play that morning - a big note saying "listen to me" on it. OR call his voicemail late at night and sing it so he gets it the next morning!
You could have lots of fun with it. Keep it light and not remember anything from last year.
Don't mark all of the next year with the "Last year at this time" thinking. It won't help anyone - least of all your R with H. You both lived it - not let it go.
I just drove by a neighborhood church today and the sign said -
Quote: Forgiving is painful, but not forgiving is more painful.
I think the same can be said for forgetting, don't you?
Tell you what, if you can work to forget the markers of the past year, I will too. We can help each other out. Talk about it here, but try to not live it again - what do you say?
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
