Crisis or transition, they are both emotional turmoil she needs to work through. She will cycle and bounce around from depressed to normal-ish and back.
Do work on calming that over-active brain. Oh my how I obsessed about my W and our life that crashed and burned. It takes time, and a focus on other things. You are doing fine.
A positive is that she isn’t trying to work on the marriage. You want her to work on herself, then the marriage.
Your goals are good. Also be supportive if and when it works and she allows it. Keep that focus on you, and let her travel the path she needs to travel.
What about long term goals? Compassion, understanding, forgiveness.
What about goals for bpd? Life, work, play. Something for you.
I know, they overlap. Whatever you put your efforts into will spill into other areas of your life as well. So reach high, look to the lofty ideals, and walk your path with purpose.
Stay strong my friend. You got this.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Oh my how I obsessed about my W and our life that crashed and burned. It takes time, and a focus on other things. You are doing fine.