So, I have a question. I am interested in pursuing some sex. Before I made a move, I thought that I should ask here first. It seems like things are a little better between us, but it has been such a long time. I feel like I am in the friend zone, and I would like to get out of that zone. Is there anything I can do to help with this? Other than intimacy, I feel like things are better. I could totally be fooling myself.
How long has it been? Do you see any indications from your W that she's interested in that? I agree with the others that it's likely she'll reject you and that may just make you feel worse. But, there is a small chance she might be interested. My XW and I quit having sex after BD, then about a month later in MC she said despite everything she wouldn't mind continuing to have sex because she enjoyed it. That came as a shock to me. So we resumed, and continued until she moved out.
Similarly, my W initially was against it. But one night late at night we were having a discussion (very early on in my sitch), and she said she wanted to. I was shocked. My reaction exactly: "REALLY?!" She then said, "no forget it." and the moment passed. When I mentioned this to a counselor she said "She probably is really horny." Obviously she had a lot of pent up sexual energy from her EA, and was willing to use me to release it. But Destroyd, be aware, if she says yes she might be physically with you, but mentally with an OM. This is why you can attach NO significance. Lots of Ws in EAs have used their husbands to "have sex with the OM", and then the LBH is flabbergasted that it didn't mean things were better.
So it is a tricky issue to deal with. Only deal with it if you are capable of handling it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
