Finding the Balance then Tipping the Scale (3)

[joejoe1]

Adam,

The no contact letter is up too you. If you believe what you W is telling you, then move on. You don't have to follow every step verbatim. So, IMO, I would have my W write one and have it saved as an draft in an email. But I don't think not writing one would hurt. Because there's any contact to stop from happening.

My W told me she hit rock bottom, as well. That she was at the lowest she ever felt in her life. That, it wasn't about the OM, it could of been anybody, but he was familiar, and made her have feelings again. I lost alot of weight as well, but you got me beat homey. Great job on getting your health in order.

I started to let my W go before, I found this forum, well, I told her those words, after finding this forum, and listening to the advice on here, my W started to take notice. She told me she was getting jealous. She even told me the OM was getting upset with her because she kept talking about me. Funny how that works. After recon, I have seen my W break down in a uncontrollable panic attack, because of her choices and decisions. You'll process has just started. It will be some great days and some not so great days stay patient. Don't rush, the process. If you are not ready to break the lease, then don't, but don't use having the apartment as a threat or scared tactic. The moment you truly decide to forgive her, then the past belongs in the past.

I read a quote one day, that helped me process in my sitch, it goes, "forgiveness is the process of giving up the ability the change the past". We can't go back, and do anything different so dwelling and living in there only slows things down and hurt the healing process.

Onward and upward