Ellie, you are right, it is really a no-win situation, they both feel entitled to their opinons and both think they were right in their actions. He has agreed to this cruise thing, I don't need to harp on it any more and make him feel happy about it, just doing it is a huge step.
Things have been going really well here. I still get caught up in the "where we were a year ago" drama, in my own mind at least. His birthday is in two weeks, which really was the end of it all last year. And as luck has it, my father is having surgery the day before and the boys and I won't be here for the entire day of his birhtday. I'm thinking of postponing the trip a day to be able to do a birthday breakfast and then head south. H says it is only a b-day, doesn't matter, yet age is part of his MLC and whole downward spiral last year.
I have brought up the subject of T-giving, the only holiday I was apart from the kids. We usually always do it at the ILs, but told him I would prefer to do something different, not bring back memories of last year. I think I should be able to put it all behind me, but I know realistically I'll be replaying everything in my head and getting pissed at the ILs and H again, so tyring to avoid it. H has agreed to going away somewhere and doing something different this year. I'm grateful he was willing to listen to me and understand my point of view.
Heading out camping tomorrow. Low key vacation, should be nice. Thinking of everyone, this board is what kept me sane these past two years.
