This is something I struggle with as well. The attention feels nice, but it's so confusing. One minute I think we are moving towards reconciling, the next my H is telling me it's too much and he needs space. He is the one who reaches out, but then pulls away when things start to go well. The mixed signals are painful. I feel for you.
It feels terrible, but I finally had to set a boundary with my H. He requested space, so I had to remind him that he asked for space, but he is not taking it. My C told me to tell him that we should refrain from the constant texting, checking in, and checking on one another. Our spouses are cake eating any chance they get. My C reminded me that my H needs to feel the anxiety of not contacting me, of not knowing, and deal with it. I am not giving him the chance to miss me if I'm still acting as if we are together. My H was happy with living on his own, doing his own thing and keeping tabs on me all the time. He is definitely not happy with the boundary I have set. We will see what happens.
This is so hard Gomez. Continue to work on yourself. I wish you the best of luck.
