Its hard Hallzy. Its hard to watch our children miss out on what could potentially be a great family dynamic when the other wants out. The other could want out for so many different reasons either having to do with us, or not having anything to do with us at all. That all we can do is take control of ourselves and our decisions. Its a helpless feeling. But it doesn't have to be. Its heartbreaking. Its heartbreaking to us, our spouses, and our families. But the heart wants what it wants. Some people want what they can't have, and have what they don't want. So as painful as it is for some of us going through this. I think a lot of us get to a point where we surrender to it and say, "Why fight it?" "Why am I so focused on them, on the M, when they don't want us anymore, and we could be using all those months/years of time and energy rebuilding ourselves." All we can do is make the best decisions for ourselves and our kids with the information, and the experience and coping skills we have at that time. You are going to go back and forth a lot in limbo about whether if you should file or not because of the way you are being currently treated, and wondering all these things about the future what your life will be like without them. It could be miserable, it could be awesome because you are no longer miserable being in a $hitty situation, and you worked on yourself. It could make you wonder? What if I gave things more time and patience? I don't know if this is the right answer or not? But since we are the ones that didn't want this in the first place? Then why file? Why not let them file? Then there is the other side where all you want to do is file so you can move on with your life away from this treatment and thus misery to find peace around you and within you. Only time, healing, inner and outer work will tell.
