Daily rollercoaster of emotions

[HaWho]

Hi Nyla - you are receiving excellent advice and you are doing very well.

Personally, I would not push the visitation schedule unless your kids are asking for it. He is all messed up so the less time they have with him the better. My ex was such a lost, confused mess the first 2 years post BD.

Curious, have you considered therapy for your kids? It might help to talk some of this through, even if it’s just a few sessions to learn different coping mechanisms. Is there a plan for D12’s academics? Here in the US, when my h went off the deep end, a therapist told me drop in grades would be something that required addressing.

Being years out from all this MLC mess, I promise you will survive this. My strong advice is to take the focus off him because you cannot do a thing for him. Protect your finances, separate these ASAP as it sounds like he is spending on OW and that is money for your kids.

Focus like a laser on your kids: helping D14 to work through (her very normal) anger in a healthy way, D12 keeping grades up and learning it is not her job to make her dad happy and s10 that this has nothing to do with him as you mentioned they are close.

Remember, he is a married man. No healthy woman is interested in that. He is broken and he’ll attract the same. Sounds like she is young. She may want to get herself pregnant. Protect your finances.

Let him twist in the wind. Continue to focus on yourself so that no matter what you come out of this stronger. You can stand but standing does not mean standing still.