Fine tuning my inner Me

[Rita]

Grace, you are feeling the burden. It seems to be going around, Nyla was the same.

Maybe you can read what I wrote to her. It's the same for you. You think you are going to wake H up. You aren't going to wake him up. You're just going to get yourself riled up.

I think that the only thing you can do at this juncture is decide that as long as he is with an OW, he can't visit your house. You can make boundaries. You can't tell him what to do. You can only set a limit on what you are willing to do.

And you don't have to tell him about it. Just tell God. Write a letter to H but don't give it to him. Write it and then set it on the river and watch it float away. Or burn it. Or bury it or read it out loud in an empty church and ask God to deliver it to him in a dream.

You don't have to make an announcement. Just choose for yourself. And if H shows up, you tell him you need to have your own space while he is pursuing his own life outside your marriage. You can even say, "Out of respect for our marriage, I can't see you while you are with another woman, but I will always pray for you and for our marriage."

Other people here won't agree with that but I have found that making that clear about the door being open has helped me find peace and have no regrets.

My son has come in and wants to go for a walk though it's almost 2 am. So I will sign off with love to you my friend. Come over for coffee tomorrow morning and I will give you a hug! : )