Persistent Endurance (Part 4)

[curtis7]

W didn’t respond to my text. I took S8 to baseball practice, then brought him over to her affair house afterwards. W wasn’t there quite yet as she was still at my place feeding her horse. I waited inside with the kids until she got back. Noticed a new handwritten note on her refrigerator stating something along the lines of “You are toxic to everyone, STOP!!!”

When she arrived a few minutes later she was bright and cheery and didn’t seem dejected at all which was surprising based on her text yesterday morning. She asked me to stay until the kids were showered and into bed. I stayed and said goodnight to the kids, then she received a call at exactly 10pm and she quickly declined it. She engaged in a text exchange for the next 5 minutes. This was interesting as the exact same thing happened at the exact same time 2 weeks ago when we were at a neighbor’s house to wish him well as he was leaving for Europe for the summer. 10pm must be her prearranged time to talk with her AP.

We then discussed her text and the kids. W confirmed that she wants me to take them full time (I don’t have anything in writing yet). She reiterated that she didn’t want to share the details as to what was revealed to her and I didn’t probe further. Those are her problems right now, she knows where the lighthouse is if she’s ever ready. She said she can’t focus on them right now and they pick up on that. She said she feels bad sitting them in front of the TV all the time and also has a short temper with them. She added that divorced BFF thought this was best too (of course). I told her I understand and that I would take them as often as I could. She said she didn’t know how long we would have this arrangement, but she said probably not long, whatever that means.

Her actions show me that the request for me to take greater responsibility with the kids are to enable her to spend more time with OM/GGW. It may be enabling, but I would rather put my kids first right now and keep them in a stable environment where they aren’t being neglected due to her selfish WW.

She can do what she wants. I’m going to keep living my life and making the best of it for me and the kids. I’ve been keeping up with hitting the weights at the gym, playing volleyball a few times week, attending church, reading books, spending time with friends, and coaching youth baseball. GAL is good with the exception of no love life. Having the opportunity to be around the kids everyday and being able to give and receive fatherly love is a good trade off for no sex life right now and keeps me from feeling lonely. Staying grateful and focusing on the positives.