Midlife wife crisis8

[ToSmile]

Wolf,

To the first part of your reply, it is because you are still very attached to her.

And my reply to the second part of your post, will also address the first part.

Collecting from what you described about your wife, she is a person who is very self-entitled. This is made worst by enabling parents and also you, that had enabled her too during the marriage by being the husband you claimed to be. Entitled people feels like the world owes it to them, and for a lady, she would behave like a damsel in distress, most if not all the time. The way they handle most things will be projection and blaming others. It is always others, but never their fault. And they cannot come to accept its their fault because, it will overturn any beliefs they have and their value system.

Such personality always looks for someone to "Rescue" them. The knight in shinning armor that will come to get their assess out of messes and shelter them against any of their displeasure, and be at their disposal. At first, they would be nice and sweet and submissive to the knight because, they view them as their savior. And most guys by nature, likes to take up this role to protect the Damsel. Overtime, the knight will keep giving in more and more, as he feel its just natural for him to do so and the Damsel will just keep receiving and receiving, taking everything for granted and how it should be. Slowly and surely, the respect that the Damsel will have for the knight erodes and overtime, he slides to the level of a servant because mostly, he will just give in to please the damsel and fulfill the family man role, putting himself the last.

At this juncture, the servant whom supposed to be the dearest and closest person to the Damsel, also becomes the punch bag for the damsel. For the efforts he put in that used to draw much appreciation previously is now expected for by the Damsel while for anything that goes wrong, its his fault. The servant will keep giving and giving while the Damsel will just receiving until one day, be it any reason that the Damsel may not be satisfied with her life, she'll drop the bomb and it's all, the servant's fault that caused her for such a wreck life she has.

But the poor servant has been wondering what has he done wrong? He had been loyal, committed, putting in all he can for the Damsel and she was happy. But does it turns out this way? Well that is because the Servant did not make his stand. And the servant himself had been so used to be giving always he continues to give, thinking that is the way to turn things around but this only lapse into the vicious cycle of eroding the respect further than what he has remain.

So what do you think the servant should do now?