Well I'm on the couch since I got home late. I'm too nice, yeah, she should sleep on the couch! Still work needed to shed Mr. Nice guy I see. Ring disappears tomorrow and should be interesting because I also bought some new clothes. I'm going to ask for her to sleep on the couch tomorrow night since she has the problem. Nicely put, and I'm going to use those words. That level of assertiveness would also be a 180 for me. And I'll be vague about what I've been up to last night. You know "I'm reflecting".That would be a 180 too. Last time I was vague about going out the curiosity just killed her!
Unfortunately this trip was planned before she announced the separation. In two days we move on to another city and she wants to have it so one kid sleeps with an adult. Fine by me.
Meet ups was mentioned to me by a local crisis line which I used once. I'll give that a go.
Someone commented why LBS (me) didn't walkaway earlier. Well, because I had no concept of boundaries nor emotional intelligence. Yeah, i should have addressed that years ago but I simply did not have the ability. Only now after 3 failed relationships and pending 2nd failed marriage, do I realise that Mr. Nice Guy is a consequence of emotional neglect. And Mr. Nice Guy liked unstable, emotional women because he had none of that in his life (first time I describe myself in 3rd person!) I don't blame myself for this, just glad I found it out now. And you know what? I'm not sure if W is really suitable for who I now am becoming. IC warned me of this. I really feel now that unless she can make enough changes (so far minimal) my needs need to be filled elsewhere. In otherwords she can't satisfy what I now need in a relationship. And I see her thinking about my boundaries too. First time I see she caught herself about to blame the kids on something she did. Was quite proud because the last time she did that I said you can't have our kids own your emotions, that's your problem!
Anyhow, helpful to get such quick responses. Feel more positive and energised to take on the day. This is why I like this forum!
