Midlife wife crisis8

[Wolfman]

Tosmile. Thank you for that. I know the people on here are trying to help me. And see things differently from an outside perspective. I just struggle. I was one of those nice guys who got blind sided. And I just tried so hard to fix things. And I get stuck in thinking about the past, and all the vacations we went on and the good times. For me the loss is very overwhelming, I know that if I can let go of the past, that my w is not the same person I will be better. But my mind is constantly bribing me back and thinking how could she be this upset to want d. I know she sees things differently than I do and in her mind she just wants out from this pain. She is a “runner”. She runs from problems, responsibility, relationships. Since the 19 years we have been together anytime there is a problem she wants to get away from the problem not fix it. We are away right now for my sons hip hop competition. Evidently the kids gave her a hard time in the morning all she kept saying was she needed to get away. So she ran to Starbucks for 45 minutes. Then out to dinner with some of the dance moms without our kids. Look I get it, we need a break from our kids once in a while, but that is always her answer. She has cut out so many friends from our life. She has cut out her own family for problems. She thinks that by eliminating the problem it will go away and her life will get better. Now she is doing that to me. She has never stopped to tho k that maybe the problem is her. She doesn’t get along with half her co-workers. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, that eventually I would be on the “chopping block”. A lot of he dance moms she doesn’t get along with either. The list goes on and on.

Here is the other thing. As I talk about all my w negative qualities it makes me wonder why am I hurting so much? Why would I want to be married to a person like this? I deserve better than someone who can’t handle life. A woman who does not know how to forgive. I think if I focus on these things it will be easier for me to drop the rope.