Destroyd, this describes my sitch to a tee once we got past the initial shock and awe of BD. To me this is a good sign that you have a chance to have your W reattracted to you. I just went back and reread your OP. BD was over a year ago?
Steve, a year ago she told me that she was unhappy with our relationship, but the BD of ILYBNILWY came about 7 months ago. Does this change your opinion?
Originally Posted by Steve85
Destroyd, there are some positive signs here, and a lot of time has passed.
Steve, I so hope you are right that there are some positive signs. My pastor keeps telling me that there are a lot of positive signs, and that I need to keep my head up because God could be slowly doing his healing work with her and I don't know about it.
Originally Posted by Steve85
Have I mentioned talk and touch charges to you before? Google them. I think they could make strides in your sitch. You are in unique circumstances since so much time has past since BD. We get newbies here that just got BD'd that are trying all sorts of pursuit and pressure. I think your sitch calls for some potential tests since you have a lot of good signs going on here. She's pleasant. She seems interested in your day. You guys are in MC (does she do the MC homework?). She wants to watch TV with you at night.
Do you think I should still try these charges even though it has only been 7 months since BD? With respect to the MC, I have slowed it down. I asked for us to take June and July off. We will go back in August. I wasn't seeing any progress. We would go into the counseling sessions, she wouldn't have an agenda of what she would like to discuss and then after prompting from the MC she would (a) reiterate the same old complaints we have been talking about this whole time or (b) focus on how she hates the pressure that I put on her since the BD (ILYs, family trips, modest touching).
She has told me that she is working to fix the relationship. But, I am not convinced. In between counseling sessions, I feel like we make progress, but then in counseling she says nothing has changed. In our last session in May she even said, "I just feel like I am done."
I think that she is struggling with tearing apart the family, and I think she knows that she is suffering from depression. I think that it would be a great sign if she is finally acknowledging that she is depressed, but I am scared that she is going to just blame our marriage problems for causing the depression whereas I feel that the depression is causing the marriage problems.
Do you think I should still try the talk and touch charges? No matter what, I will read up on them. Thank you!!
