Making the best of the mess.

[97Hope]

Journaling,

Saw the email where he wants to proceed with D. Allowing it to wash over me. This is not a surprise. I am in a great deal of pain. Have an IC appt on Tuesday. Meeting with L tomorrow first thing.

I know I will be ok. God has been faithful to me, even if my H hasn't. I pray for him. I know he will wake up one day with deep regret, as someone who has loved him for 23 years, I wish he wouldn't do it to himself, but I know that now it's time to completely let go. Maybe should have done that a long time ago but I'm in such a better place than I was 2 years ago and wouldn't trade that time for anything. I did what I knew to be right, fair and kind. I did what I would have wanted him to do, what I wanted him to do - when I was struggling with depression.

I'm ok with how I've walked through the last 2 years. My faith is strong. I'm not excited about my future but I will get there.

If you pray, please pray for my family. All of us. As I look ahead I am reminded of all the stories I have been reading here and when reconciliation wasn't possible, the DBers were in a much better place.

I'm not saying goodbye, I'll still need you guys, and hope to help others here, just wanted to say THANK YOU for walking through this with me.

My CAGD people, stay strong and I'm about to shred it. lol I no longer have a choice. Big hugs to everyone hurting today.