Growing Pains(LB55 thread 4)

[LB55]

So previously my kids had always spent a week with my parents each summer, sometimes 2 weeks. W said she wants that to continue and could I ask them when they are available. I did, gave her a date range that works for them(its like 6 straight weeks; pick one). Told her to let me know what works for her, and that I would schedule it, but she will have to communicate with them for pickup and dropoff as it is during her time with the kids. This was all via email because she doesn't like talking in person very often.

W: You want me to communicate with your parents?
H: Yes.
W: That doesn't sound like a good idea, i don't get along with your parents and im not sure what your parents know about our situation.
H: Sorry you feel that way, you will have to communicate with them to set up the details.
W: It seems like our written communication isn't working very well, can we sit down and talk about this to clear up the confusion?
H: Yes

So she likes email and text unless she doesn't get her way. Written communication isn't working because it isn't what she wanted to hear. She won't get a different answer in person, however it will be a chance for me to validate and listen to her concerns without fixing her problems.

I am not doing this to punish her, but I am not her rescuer from her own problems either. If I had the kids 12/14 days I would expect to have to coordinate with her parents to see the kids in the same manner.

Additionally, she is out of town on her Africa trip, the kids are staying with her parents. I am picking them up tonight and on Friday night, and the expectation from W is that I coordinate with her mom to schedule the times to pickup and dropoff the kids.

she is scared of them because they know the truth. This is my opinion. She is laden with guilt over how she has handled this and doesn't want to face the music. I will tell my parents that they are not to attack her, defend me, or talk with her outside of scheduling pickup times about the kids. This is just a consequence of her choice and she needs to grow up and deal with it.