So so new to this :(

[peacetoday]

Hi Nyla

I like the idea of not allowing the kids to his house even when she is not there
t just creates boundries

In the conversation- I would not bring up OW
but it is best to take the children and it is for their best interest and their request to see H outside of his apt.
He can take them out to a park, a movie, an event, lunch ect or whatever activity seems age appropriate
keeo in mind..If he takes them out for an activity it will probably be less time
maybe he can spend time with them at your home and you can make a mysterious plan and night out

My XH had an apt on the beach with OW..He lived 45 minutes from us-
He would travel to our home without her to see our kids-
They never met her-They never went to his home

Good luck I know it is difficult-