Midlife wife crisis8

[Wolfman]

Ovr my kids really do hate the beach. As a matter of fact my w told me the next day what a hard time my d have her. I understand kids can’t have their way all the time. But when both kids are adamant about not going and you take them anyway that’s when I think you shouldn’t take them. It’s not my problem but evidently they did not have a good time because my kids don’t like it. My w even told me that my d said to her that she was only going to be with her friend. I bring up that point because if it was the other way around my w would have made it a point to say why am I bringing them their when they don’t like that. Ovr on here I just vent and talk about my feelings so I may look like the victim. But when I am with my kids and around my w I am happy and fun. I don’t want to show her a sad or unhappy person.

Tosmile another great post. There are a lot of things I would like to address from your post. Before my w I was a very independent strong person who loved to play sports. When we first got married I continued to play in a men’s baseball and flag football league. Once we had kids I slowly phased it out. Why? She complained that I cared more about my sports than the family and that was not true. So, eventually I stopped playing. We would argue at times that I had to leave to play sports. If you are thinking compromise, accordingly to my w there was always something going on. I could see how angry she was getting about me playing.

Since we separated I have got back into playing sports again. I try to play as much as possible.

You also talked about it not being healthy making my family my life. If you meant in the past I disagree with that. I love my family and they will always be number one. If you meant now then yes I need to detach more. It looks like one of the mistakes I made was trying to do everything for my w. The more I did the more she asked of me and even said it was too much for her to keep up with her stuff. I don’t know what she was implying, the only things she did was laundry and cook on occasion. I did everything else. I think that stunted her growth into adulthood. Where now she is rebelling like a teenager. Again, I always tried to be the best husband and father possible. Some how it wasn’t enough and that scares me. It scares me because that could happen in the next relationship. Where I think I am being a great spouse or companion and the next one leaves.

You also talk about what is the worse that can happen? Divorce? To me that is pretty bad. This whole thing has really got me down. I have never felt so depressed the last year. That I am on 2 meds I go to IC. And yet still struggle. Some people can bounce back I think for me it will be a long time before I fully recover from this.