Life is so strange in my house. My wife is almost always pleasant to me, but sometimes distant. Except for sleeping on the far edge of the bed, no hard holding/touching, and very few I love yous, our daily life isn't much different. She is generally pleasant to be around. She seems interested in my day and caring. She wants to watch TV with me at night.
Destroyd, this describes my sitch to a tee once we got past the initial shock and awe of BD. To me this is a good sign that you have a chance to have your W reattracted to you. I just went back and reread your OP. BD was over a year ago?
Destroyd, there are some positive signs here, and a lot of time has passed.
Have I mentioned talk and touch charges to you before? Google them. I think they could make strides in your sitch. You are in unique circumstances since so much time has past since BD. We get newbies here that just got BD'd that are trying all sorts of pursuit and pressure. I think your sitch calls for some potential tests since you have a lot of good signs going on here. She's pleasant. She seems interested in your day. You guys are in MC (does she do the MC homework?). She wants to watch TV with you at night.
Here were some things that helped my sitch:
1) Talk charges. Communication is the key to connected. Think about how you communicated when you were dating (I know, many moons ago!). It was frequent. It was often fun and light. Sometimes it was deep and meaningful.
2) Touch charges. Small at first. Hand on small of bank as you pass behind her. Things like that. Touch is very important, but you have to start small or run the risk of pushing her away. However, you should continue them as long as she is receptive. I eventually moved up to pulling her over to me in bed to lay her head on my chest for a few minutes before she had to get up in the morning, after I was ready for work.
3) Ask her to lunch. Or dinner. Not necessarily a date. I work from home on Fridays during non-summer months. I made it a standing date that we go to lunch on Friday. This has morphed into a more traditional date night over time, but in the thick of our sitch this worked for helping reconnect.
Destroyd, go slow. Have zero expectations. Try to remember to keep things fun and light. Avoid R talks (except where mandated by your MC.)
You've got this!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
