WH and/or MLC? New to forum

[97Hope]

I don't know about dating even though H is putting himself out there. In some ways I feel like it would be nice to have the attention and company and something very casual might help me detach. On the other hand, I'm not sure how available I really am and I hate to bring someone else into the mix. I also fear that it might make things more complicated if reconciliation is on the table in the future.

Let me start off by admitting my deficiency in detachment. It's still a major work in progress. 2 steps forward 1 step back - but it's still progress!!

If you start dating at this point, it sounds like you are looking for someone to 'help you detach' - you don't need anyone - rather, you should not need anyone to be able to detach. That is where you grow and learn how to manage your own emotions. You won't be doing yourself any favors by looking for others for what you can only do for yourself - being single without a man to make you feel whole. I learned this the hard way, don't be like me. I was co-dependent with my H (and H was/is codependent with me).

I would agree with you that you aren't available, and if/when you feel ready to date, I don't think you will need to ask yourself, I think you will know. Your H could also make the case that you are now a cheater. I know this isn't about him, this is your growth - and a vet might show up and correct me, but I can't imagine giving my H the satisfaction of an affair of my own.

Dating while still married sounds like a terrible idea to me - think of it this way - would a (mentally) healthy, solid guy date a woman who is still married? Do you think this is someone you could trust long-term? I think you might end up with another serial cheater or at least another problem.

Loneliness stinks. Surround yourself with your friends and loved ones. You can do this!!