Ok so correct me if I’m wrong because I haven’t read your entire sitch, your H is having an affair? You’re not ok living in an open marriage so you are looking to set a boundary? When setting a boundary you are protecting yourself and if broken there must be consequences. Legally you can not tell him to leave the home. If he says no I’m not leaving then what’s the plan? Unless you’re ready to D him if the affair continues I’m not really sure what you can do.
