So last August, at a low point, I stayed with a friend for a couple weeks so we could have time apart and think. I came home because I heard the OW's car was in my driveway but that ultimately led to the confrontation where I found out affair had restarted and been going on for quite a while. While staying with my friend, I went skydiving and it was a big endorphin booster for several days afterward. I highly recommend it!
Honestly I've been wrapped up in this situation for so long that I feel kind of numb about everything else. I'm in a new location since moving to CO in January and up until May, H and I did a lot of exploring on the weekends and had a lot of fun doing it. I've made a few great friends out here so far which is a big positive. I can see them being in my life for a long time. I try to go do things with them when I have the opportunity, even if it doesn't sound too appealing and I usually have fun.
I feel like my ability to be a good friend and family member is not what it used to be as far as the focus I am able to give others. I also feel the same about my job. I guess I should say that since I have started the NC except for business matters I have been sad a lot and hitting the lows and mids but not really any of the highs. I also have anxiety which I take some meds for. It manages it fine I guess. I really don't like to take drugs unless I have to but sometimes it feels like actual pain in my stomach it is so intense.
I don't know about dating even though H is putting himself out there. In some ways I feel like it would be nice to have the attention and company and something very casual might help me detach. On the other hand, I'm not sure how available I really am and I hate to bring someone else into the mix. I also fear that it might make things more complicated if reconciliation is on the table in the future.
