WAS or WHAT 11

[roist]

Hi Gerda.

Yeap I can't mindread and gave up trying a long time ago!!! I could have been annoyed that she spent more on herself than on me for my birthday, but at this stage I just observe. All and all, yes it is a positive.

I appreciate your sharing your perspective : "You sound like you have not forgiven her and that you are holding back to punish her." I will reflect on this although my first reaction is that I don't think so. But it is true that I have barriers up. In the last year I really am not interested in being with someone that doesn't want to be with me.

I will admit that each interaction like in my last post does warm me and feeds my belief that we could make it. I am grateful for these. Truly. However I feel a bit like a huge steam liner who has a path to follow and changing that path is difficult and not instant. Takes time to slow and turn. I have my own path to follow and I need to optimise how best to react to such interactions. I believe that if I stop my own path and go too much towards her, it would be a mistake. I'll it figure out though.

your words to me made me think of advice that I have given to others here. Their spouses showed signs of interest, but because it wasn't as they wanted, it was viewed lightly. I made the point that the WAS was doing the best they could. Yes my W's baby steps are awkward and less than I would like, they are positive.

I try to focus on the positive. I do observe loads of positives, but they are still sporadic moments in a sea of poorer interactions. It's almost like someone else dropped by to see me and then left again.

Gerda, I am good with a bike, so I will make an effort to help her balance.

In the time it took me to write that I thought that I had forgiven her, but maybe I have more resentment than I would like for our situation. Ahh the cycles and phases of this journey!

Best wishes everyone