One final thing: the therapist and W agreed that taking out the contraceptive implant could have caused the hormonal imbalance that helped cause all this. She took it out after the wedding so we can start planning for children. So we talked about it during dinner and that she should get a new one.
If removing it caused some kind of chemical imbalance in her body then just putting one back in may make no difference. One of my coworkers tried to quit his anti-depressants cold turkey and it cause a radical shift in his mental stability. He quickly started taking them again, but it made no difference. He spiraled out of control and ended up in a mental hospital for 6 months undergoing some pretty radical treatments. There's a lot medical science doesn't understand about the human mind, chemical balance in the body and how different medications affect it all.
Originally Posted by BenB
Today the relationship ended. I ended it. I can't explain my decision here unfortunately. I'm afraid she will find these pages some day.
That seems rather sudden, did something happen that triggered it or did you just decide you had enough?
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I arranged so she can move out next week. When I said it, it was a shock to her. She hasn't spoken much the entire day. Right after, she said she needs time to process this and will probably talk later.
Yes WAS's often think they are in control, and usually they are. So if they end up getting BD'd it blasts their little house of cards to bits. Ironically it's often something like this that "wakes them up" so I wouldn't be surprised if she asks or even begs you to let her stay. But you never know how they will react, that's why we say not to do this unless you're sure it's what you want. It sounds like that is the case for you?
Thank you AS
Nothing happened but it is a combination of both. Throughout this process it´s been bothering me tremendously that I´m living with a room mate, hoping that one day she will decide if she wants me or not. Yes, I get the whole GAL thing and I´ve worked out like a pro athelete for 6 months now twice a day, I´ve met friends, family and secured business deals and I´ve reached a point in my career I didn´t think would happen until I´m in my 50´s. There are articles about me in newspapers, I´ve been invited as guest on podcasts, people congratulating me for my success. They often end the message with something like "I hope you and your beautiful wife are well".
I should be so happy about that, not thinking about how warm the embrace of death would be. We could have been living the life we´ve always dreamed of now. I wanted to share all this with her and only her.
But she has been lying to me. I know that for a fact now. I´m lucky in that there is no OM, I know this for a fact as well now. I feel so bad for so many people here finding out about their spouses betrayal, I can imagine how much that must hurt and I wish no one would have to experience that. So my sitch should be a walk in the park compared to theirs but it isn´t. The pain is so intense now.
Yes, I am absolutely sure this is what I want. I am ready to move on with this new chapter in my life. But the thought of even touching another woman still sickens me.
After I told her it was over, I also informed her that I have deleted all my social media pages. I feel embarassed since so many people came to our wedding less than a year ago, bought us expensive gifts with our names engraved on many. I can´t stand the thought of having to explain to people what happened so I deleted the pages instead. Feels weird not having any notifications or not having something to scroll through while waiting for taxis or trains or flights.
Yesterday, W texted me and asked if she could remain at home for the rest of the week at least. She said this all feels surreal and she will want talk to about it. I replied "Of course, no problem". I can´t legally throw her out. Her moving out is me asking her to do so. When she came home she was very nice, we had dinner and watched 90 day fiance and commented on what we saw as we always have. She still has her ring on. We didn´t talk about anything last night. I know how difficult it is for her to initiate conversations about serious things, it always has been for her for as long as we´ve known each other. I would be very impressed if she actually did want to talk about our relationship face to face. That would be a complete 180 for her. She can talk about those things but I´ve always had to be the one to initiate. It wouldn´t surprise me if she ends up just moving out without a talk because she´s too afraid to initiate.
On Friday I leave for Athens over the weekend, a business trip. We´ll see what happens when I´m back.
Last edited by BenB; 07/09/1908:03 AM.
Me: 38 Stbxw: 35 No kids Mini bd: February 6, 2019 ONS confirmed Sept 7, 2019 Told her to move out: September 8, 2019 W moved out: September 28, 2019 Divorce filed by me: September 23, 2019
