Can I Save My Marriage Alone?

[CanBird]

Am I being mean by not sending him an email update on D3? He never asked for updates, or asks about her.

Read this as many times as it takes for you to stop judging yourself so harshly. It doesn't matter what anyone tells you, it matters what YOU tell you. Tell yourself that you are honoring his wishes. You don't have to like it, I don't know anyone in their right mind that would like a parent not wanting to hear from/about their children. It hurts. Like AS wrote, let yourself feel whatever you feel, but don't stay there.

I also agree that even thought this time away feels hard, it can be a great opportunity for you to focus on you and your D3. No pressure to fake it in front of H, no pressure to please/displease, worry about how your actions are affecting him.

Think about what you want to accomplish during this time apart. Take care of yourself. You can do this. ((hugs))

Thanks for the ((hugs)) 97Hope.

Of course I'm being harsh on myself. I'm that limbo stage. Great for a little, then falling falling falling.

I did read your post a few times, and thank you for suggesting that. I'm back to the no email updates unless asked for. He knows how to ask, which means communicating with me. Now I'm disappointed in him, as a parent, that he hasn't asked about her. He must be too busy shopping online. (See other posts).

The time away I have to be more thankful for it I guess. Yes, no need to fake it in front of H. I'm not the best actress, so good thing I'll have time to work on that. This situation is anything but normal, that's the hard part. As a Stay-at-home-mom, my focus is always on d3. I've been a part time (6 months of the year) single mom since she was born, pretty much. I have no family here. Although it's paradise, your surrounds don't mean anything if you feel horrible inside. I do have friends; no one knows the pain I'm going through. THat's my choice. I'm a pretty private person. Might seek help in the near future.

Yes, I really do need to focus more on what I want to accomplish during this time apart. It's funny how we can be each others cheer leaders, but we sometimes forget to cheer for ourselves. I've got to get back to my routine of self love, and doing something different everyday. And at maybe something that scares you once a month! D3 and I do a lot of gardening. It's something I love to do. And she enjoys it too.

I feel a little bit better now.

THanks again for the ((hugs))