Today when d3 and I got home from her appt, another notification was there, telling us what H has ordered online. Another pair of pants (elastic in back? drawstring in front) And shortly after that, another notification for a pair of black converse (womens). My heart sunk. However, his mom & sister both were these shoes. I don't know and have to erase that I'm even hearing these messages. And again, no packages have arrived at our house.
OH good lord, another notification just came in....womens flip flops... his favorite & my favorite brand. WTF!
I have no idea what's going on. This is truly scaring me. I hate these feelings. I have chosen not to talk to anyone, except here. I don't want to tell anyone what's going on because, it's embarrassing. I feel like I've failed as a wife.
Doing the ugly cry right now. Feels likes many bombs have been dropped.
As soon as d3 starts daycare, I think I might need to seek help. I want to be strong, but this hurts. I feel silly for saying that when I know there are far more serious situations out there. Regardless, I'm hurting too.
Haven't sent the b-day card yet. Will try tomorrow. I don't want to cry all over it.
~Never Give Up ~ 2019 Mar BD June BD Dec Aow/xgf 2020 Jan he wants D Feb he flys2 ow Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn Apr he leaves for work until Nov Oct D FINAL 2020 Living MY Happiest Life Ever
