It is a rough day. I guess because I am not with the kids. Or last year we were all at a 4th party together having a grand old time together. My past memories are what keep haunting me. Thinking what was she feeling last year at this time? Because it didn’t look like she was unhappy, disgusted or even thinking of divorce. I remember watching the fireworks with my arm around her. This roller coaster of emotions [censored]!!!
I went to the house this morning to bring them bagels, this way I could spend some time with the kids. W was in such a pissy mood. My d didn’t want to go to the beach. She was feeling down. So my w was annoyed with her. But because my w is in super selfish mode she really didn’t ask my d what was the matter. I knew what was wrong right away. After my wnattacked about what was wrong. I said to my w, “you really don’t know what’s bothering her?” She said I have no idea. I said it was the last time my d played with our friends daughter before she drowned (she didn’t die, but is basically a vegetable). As soon as I said that the tears started to roll down my d’s face. And my w being so insensitive says to my d, you have to move on and get over it. W says look that was a tragedy and they are still going out today so you need to move on. I told my d it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to cry. I told her to let those emotions out and you will feel better. Again this just proves where my w’s head is at!!! No empathy for my daughter, no feelings of what was a year ago, all my wife cared about was that she was going to be late meeting up with friends, not that my daughter was having a rough time. Or that my kids hate the beach and was taking them anyway because a friend asked her to go. If it was the other way around and I was taking the kids to the beach, she would have made a comment like why are you taking them there, they don’t like the beach.
I wonder if my w will ever look back years from now and realize just how selfish she is acting and how cold she was to everyone? Who has this woman become???
This post really stood out to me. Your daughter doesn't want to go to the beach, but she also does not get to make that decision. Your W is advising your daughter that she's going anyways. Kids test parents just to test them. Maybe your W is in pain and is not the best parent at the moment. Maybe you aren't either. As far as what your daughter is upset about you say that you knew right away, but do you? Could it be something else? Could your girl be playing the role to get what she wanted? You showed up at the house you left with an instant diagnosis and solution. I don't see anything wrong with your W wanting to get going to the beach either.
Your W is right, to an extent. So are you, too. But your post paints her so negatively, as if she's hurting you and your family so badly and she just needs to change to stop. You're the victim, she is the victimizer. MWD discusses this in her book, comparing it self defense situations, saying "play the victim and you will be the victim". It doesn't help that society is infatuated with victims currently, but a victim cannot logically expect the victimizer to just stop in the name of righteousness, right? If the oppressor was so righteous, you wouldn't be here. So what can YOU do to stop it?
And you left the house and kids, why are you stopping in with bagels?
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
