What if she’s putting all her unhappiness on me because i’m the easiest part of her life to change? She can’t change her dad being dead, no matter how unhappy or depressed she is about it, she can change jobs but she would still have to have money coming in so finding another job would be too risky and could put her back in the same position, then there’s me, she doesn't need me, so it’s easy to peg all her unhappiness, depression, and anxiety on me then cut me out with the hope that she will be cutting out all that bad stuff in her life when she does..could that be it? She’s been late for work a lot since her dad died, and that’s very unlike her, if she’s late or calls out one more time she’s fired. She told me that and i offered to help make sure she gets up on time, normally she gets up on her own..could i be right?
Jb - I went through 100 different theories and in the end it doesn't matter. You are right - she is pegging you as the cause of her unhappiness. So what can you do about it? Definitely don't try to convince her she is wrong, that will only convince her she is right.
One of the points of DB-ing is to move on with your life. Maybe then she will realize, on her own, that you didn't cause all the unhappiness.
Originally Posted by Jb2019
And if so, what can i do to make her...
STOP right there mister =) ! You can't make her anything. You can't make her feel anything, do anything, nothing. Let her be. What is, is. "Make her" = Control, that attitude alone is a problem in this situations.
