Feeling-wise, because I haven't heard anything from him other than responses to business items it kills me because it makes me feel like I don't matter to him or he just doesn't care that we are not talking or seeing each other. So right now, it feels like what I'm doing is hurting me more than showing him that I'm not always going to continue to allow him to take from me without giving back.
Giving him time and space is the only way he will ever learn to miss you, and it's the only way you'll ever start to heal from this. You've got to process the grief and you need as little contact with him as possible while you do that. Don't worry, avoiding contact is not making things worse even though it probably feels like it.
Quote
I'm not sure how long it takes someone to feel the loss of another if they are using relationships with other people, drinking, and other avoidance techniques to distract themselves. He is also very good at compartmentalizing.
It's hard to say. 25 doesn't post here anymore but she went through something similar with her H. She was a masterful DB'er and they ended up reconciling but he kept right on with his shenanigans and she finally got so sick and tired of it that she was the one that ended up filing for divorce.
Quote
I have been wallowing in self pity some recently and feeling really sad.
Of course you are, it's a terrible thing to do through! It's normal to feel that way.
Quote
As I mentioned previously, I've offered the option of proceeding with a separation agreement or dividing up things and he has insisted he is not done with our relationship but he also hasn't recommitted or stopped maintaining the other relationships.
That's not at all unusual. He'll probably just let things sit like that indefinitely. Unfortunately it's giving false hope to you when he likely has no intention of reconciling anytime soon. You are his "Plan B" that he wants to keep on the back burner in case everyone else falls through.
