Hi A....she does not want any kids at 47 she told me that window has closed for her. That is a non-issue and she is actually happy that I have one.
She and her XH did adopt their son and I am not sure if their were substance abused problems or not but I do know that his biological dad has been in and out of jail/prison.
The kid definitely pushes boundaries and I am sure there is a rough and tumble kid in there just waiting to get out but he it can't because he is around women all day long. I also don't think the Dr. is a drop the hammer type of person. Her style is to make deals with him......if you continue to do this you won't get that. I do think she has more patience than me.
I am also aware that I am used to my girls and not him. As I am watching his behavior I find myself looking at my daughters and determining if they do the same thing but I am just used it from them so it doesn't bother me. For example, yesterday I was leaning up against the pool wall and my girls were swimming under my legs. He started doing the same thing but instead of just swimming under my legs he had to make contact with me, hitting me with his head as he swam under me. It was annoying. Another time he started to climb on me, just messing around but then he started to grab my hat off my head. His mom stepped in and told him to quit messing with my hat. Then he came up with this game to see if he could swim to me and touch me but he had to get through my outstretched legs first. Ok no big deal but when he couldn't get around them he started punching my feet, pulling my toes, essentially resorting to physical contact. His mom would never let him do that because he shouldn't hit people. Ok I get it from her perspective but from mine he is boy and has some aggression...let the boy work it out. He was trying to hurt me but he wasn't so then he started to get frustrated and do more annoying things to win the game and touch me. Then he gets pissed off and cries.
The Dr. bought me a pillow to keep at her place and once he found out it was mine he wanted it for himself and actually put his pillow case on it. I told the Dr. that it could be a territorial thing and since she is "his" person he might not be used to sharing her. I just wanted her to know that I am aware that this could happen. She said he always wants what someone else has. Ok fine but that combined with some of his physical aggression towards me certainly is something to monitor and be aware of. In his little mind he could be thinking he is getting replaced or he could be jealous of me because his mom is giving me attention that he is not getting.
Then when I think about him telling my girls about how he went to the water park with me and they didn't go makes me wonder even more. Do I have a little "Boss Baby" on my hands?? It's this sort of stuff with the kids that makes me tap the breaks even more and not rush into anything.
