Guys I'm fighting a really bad depression the last two days. Yesterday mind went into overload, so I tried to distract it with movies and such which helped. I don't want to do anything but sleep, couldn't sleep, only slept two hours, barely ate yesterday. Late last night I fell on the floor, and went into a crying fit like I hadn't had in months. Usually that's a good release for me, and I'm good. But this time was different. After I was listening to myself sobbing, I started hysterically laughing afterwards, and didn't feel like myself, like something evil just took over me. Just felt numb the rest of the night until 1am and got up at 330am. I'm dropping all IC due to dropping W's mental health coverage, I have a high deductible on mine for mental health coverage, so that's a no go. I don't intend to have any IC from here on out. Its not going to help much and not going to change my circumstance so what is the point? Eating helps bring me back to somewhat normalcy. Does anyone know of any natural anti depressants I can get OTC at vitamin store or something?. Maybe working out will help me. I can't carry on like this.
So what I am hearing is: I am depressed beyond anything I've ever experienced, but I am not going to do IC.
IHC, step back. Think about if you were reading someone else's sitch and you read that. What would you think? What would you tell them?
I hear from posters that struggle all the time "I can't afford IC." When in reality you can't afford to NOT be in IC. Where there is a will, there is a way. Find a way. Depression is nothing to scoff at. Go to your doctor at a minimum and tell him you are struggling with depression and get on an anti-depressant. Depression is nothing to fool around with. If you can't control your emotions, eventually you won't be able to control other things either, like actions.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
