I believe he's buying things for himself, and not knowing why or where it got delivered, is scary to me.
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Him ordering stuff while he's at work is normal & getting it delivered elsewhere is normal too.
If it's normal then let it go. After BD we all go through a phase where we snoop and spin the worst possible scenario over every little thing we see and read. It's very harmful to your state of mind. In your case you're not intentionally snooping because it's automatic notifications, but it's still messing with your head. Just try to ignore them.
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H is away at sea/work until November.; been away since mid April. We literally have no physical contact. Emails through his work get to him asap, if they have a connection. He can check regular email. And has sent D3 a video through other means. Any email contact is business or emergency.
Well as hard as that may seem it's actually a good thing. It'll give him time and space away from you and he may start missing you. It's best just to leave him alone for now.
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His birthday is next month. I was going to send/mail a card from D3, with updates. It'll take a month to get there I gather. Last thing sent was a Father's Day Card.
Go ahead and send it.
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Am I being mean by not sending him an email update on D3? He never asked for updates, or asks about her. That just kills me.
No he specifically told you not to contact him for any reason, so don't. If he's not asking for updates then don't send them. You can't make him be a good father unfortunately, and if you try he will just resent you that much more.
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I'm depressed, and faking my smile to everyone, including the mirror I face every morning. I know, I'm not alone. And I've got a right to feel how I feel. And when the are unhealthy feelings, don't stay there too long.
You are correct they are your feelings and you should own them. Don't fight them. It makes the recovery go faster. Very sorry you're going through this, it's painful. Just take it a day at a time, or even an hour at a time if a day is too much to think about.
