I do feel much better. Don't know what it was - just one of those things, I suppose. I drank lots of water and slept in the afternoon and had a long sleep last night and feel totally normal today. Youngest was saying she was a bit under the weather, but I suspect she was just feeling a bit Monday-morning ish and wanted the day off school (she ate well and her temperature and colour was fine) so I took her in anyway!
Today I am catching up on work, taking the dog to the vet, seeing some friends this evening and planning a shopping trip with Eldest. All his clothes are suddenly - in the course of the last fortnight - too small. We both need a few extra things for going on holiday. I hope we can drive to the city and make a day of it this weekend.
H is back at work today, first day in his new job. I texted him 'good luck from us' in the morning, which is probably bad DBing but I think he was anxious, and he was kind to me yesterday when he was ill, and I wanted to show friendship. Me basically treating him like an unwelcome stranger and being very cold is not sustainable for healthy coparenting, though I don't want to let my guard down either. I think I've got 'walls three feet thick and cold as ice' sort of detachment nearly perfected, but 'loving detachment' is a bit harder to find. I want to try to treat him like a friendly distant relative who I wish well, but don't particularly want to get closer to. We'll see.
