Can I Save My Marriage Alone?

[CanBird]

Thanks for the advice 97.

I believe he's buying things for himself, and not knowing why or where it got delivered, is scary to me. The not knowing part bothers me to my core. (It's what he wore to our wedding. A linen shirt & linen pants). (Maybe this has something to do with his brother? or maybe a job interview? And then my mind really wonders to horrible places). Him ordering stuff while he's at work is normal & getting it delivered elsewhere is normal too. It's the items. I'm not going to contact him or turn the notification feature off. I use it for my deliveries. Not sure why H items are on notification, but I can just tell "Alexa" to stop (talking) if the notification is not for me. De3 likes to talk to it when we get messages.

D3 has a media account that mostly family follows, so H can view videos there. I agree not to contact him over the above issue. Not my order, not my problem.

H is away at sea/work until November.; been away since mid April. We literally have no physical contact. Emails through his work get to him asap, if they have a connection. He can check regular email. And has sent D3 a video through other means. Any email contact is business or emergency.

His birthday is next month. I was going to send/mail a card from D3, with updates. It'll take a month to get there I gather. Last thing sent was a Father's Day Card.

Am I being mean by not sending him an email update on D3? He never asked for updates, or asks about her. That just kills me. But I'm guessing because he has to go through me, he's not going to bother. Makes me not want to send any emails at all. But the card yes. She's already picked it out & don't think it's fair to her to control that because of how I feel.

Well, at least time is on my side. What does that mean for my situation? Lots of GAL. I'm depressed, and faking my smile to everyone, including the mirror I face every morning. I know, I'm not alone. And I've got a right to feel how I feel. And when the are unhealthy feelings, don't stay there too long.