Making the best of the mess.

[97Hope]

Journaling/musing,

As he mows the grass and trims the hedges and weeds the flower beds, I enjoyed time with my friends, church and a nice nap. I went out and fed the horses, dropped mineral for the cattle and spent some time checking fence-lines etc. while he was finishing up other things.

I want to weigh all of my options before I tell him not to come around. The kids have offered to help when they move back so I really don't need to do anything (they will be here in 2 weeks) today. I'm glad I have this place to clear my head. I have a new idea every 5 minutes and I have never been pleased with my emotional decisions.

I think my emotions make terrible decision makers.

If I can continue to work on detachment, I wonder if it will matter when he is here/isn't here and if I have to throw up hard boundaries about when he comes over.

Going to go back and read my own sitch from the beginning and see where I am as opposed to where I started.

Also going to note when I decide I need to do something, how I arrived at that decision. I do think Blu was right, sometimes it is in reaction to him, but I doesn't always have to be.

God Bless you and keep you all.