One example is that it seems like she has totally emotionally checked out of our marriage. When it felt like I should, I have sent her texts and even read letters to her over the phone. I got no response to the texts, but I could tell she had some emotions when I read my letter over the phone.
She is emotionally checked out. And let me tell ya, when you try to make her feel something she doesn't want to feel.......you're just digging the M grave deeper.
To you, it may seem you are trying to help her when she's depressed. However, it is heavy pursuit, and trying to get her to have some emotion is simply not your place. I see this all the time when reading LBH threads. They try to make the W feel a certain way, and it's very frustrating. LBH's want to see some type of response, so they poke & poke until they get something. I'm telling you it does not help the H's cause. Reading letters over the phone is pressure. She may have gotten a little emotional, but that's all it was. Please stop texting, emailing, and calling........unless it is urgent. She sees all of it as you smothering her to death. So, back off and give her plenty of breathing room (which her parents never have).
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One thing I left out is her parents. They own their own home not too far away from us, yet they choose to live with us because of our so. They’ve been living with us since he was born and it has driven me crazy. I have asked and asked her to ask them to leave and she just never would. She said they’re her parents and she cannot ask them to leave. Her parents have always been an important part of her life, but that has gone way up since our son was born.
That's very unfortunate, b/c the M won't stand a chance as long as you have other people living in the house with you. I put extra emphasis on in-laws!! No wonder she seems immature, if her parents are there all the time and taking up her slack. If the MR reconciles, there needs to be a very serious agreement in place that she will stand beside you when YOU tell her parents that it's time for them to go home. In fact, why can't you tell them to go home now, since their daughter no lives there?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
If the MR reconciles, there needs to be a very serious agreement in place that she will stand beside you when YOU tell her parents that it's time for them to go home. In fact, why can't you tell them to go home now, since their daughter no lives there?
