Alison, I think the day-by-day living is a critical and necessary step in the grief. It wholly (*#$%s. I did it for a long time. Looooottttsss of Netflix. I needed to escape and just make my brain stop, so I watched a lot of tv.
And then occasionally you look around and realize time has passed and you're doing pretty well. You start to slowly peek your head out further and further and start making new decisions, or taking little risks. For me when I was trying new things I started to turn a corner. Little by little I realized that every decision I made was for me and for me alone, and I could either proceed or dismiss it.
You're right that it will come to you, and it will likely come slowly but surely.
